How any of the birth scene gets magically transformed into a PG-13 moment is anyone’s guess.Ī blend of Renee (the name of Bella’s mom) and Esme (the name of Edward’s). What follows is an equally bloody and gruesome transformation of our teenage heroine into a vampire. And what does the little bugger do once she’s out? Sinks her half-vampire teeth into mom’s chest, that’s what. When she gives birth, Edward rips open Bella’s stomach with his teeth to get the baby out. “She can have puppies if that’s what it takes.” Anything she wants.” He paused for one beat. “If it’s a child she wants, she can have it. “I don’t care about anything but keeping her alive,” he said, suddenly focused now. (I guess half-werewolf, half-human babies are safer?) If you’d blocked that moment, here it is: While Bella is bedridden, trying to keep alive the half-human, half-vampire baby eating its way through her belly, we get this choice scene in which a desperate Edward begs Jacob to offer Bella the latter’s baby-making services. That’s admittedly difficult to believe, but true. Throughout “Breaking Dawn” he’s guilt-ridden over his love for Bella, even more so than in the other books. …of some guts, some personality, something that doesn’t read pathetic. So in the final movie, we’d shift our focus from Bella to Jacob?Įdward goes from being the man of every girl’s dreams to a man in need… What follows are chapters and chapters of the half-vampire, half-human baby making life violently uncomfortable for Bella, which required Meyer to let Jacob narrate the entire middle chunk of the book. At this point, the film would already be worse than a Lifetime movie of the week. Hardly satisfying.īy (in a 754-page book) Bella is with child.
If the movie just has to be rated PG-13, then I guess it’s the only way.īut after more than 1,500 pages of chaste kisses, we’re rewarded with fade-out after fade-out on their honeymoon? Instead we get morning-after fried egg breakfasts and Edward’s nonstop agonizing over having finally bedded his bride. A teenage wedding!Īfter three books’ worth of buildup, Bella and Edward finally have sex - but we get a fade to black?ĭon’t get me wrong, I appreciated Meyer’s post-coital details: the ripped-apart pillowcases and feathers in Bella’s hair, her black-and-blue bruises, the broken headboard. Also remember, Edward is forever 17 and Bella’s 18. You can retire those Team Edward and Team Jacob shirts now.
(This list is one big spoiler, so please don’t read further if you haven’t read the book.)
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